Gentlemen Prefer Blonds
by aviatrix8
Summary: Who says blonds have more fun? Lucius certainly doesn't think so... Mild shonen-ai.


Copyright, Aviatrix8, 2005. Fire Emblem and all related characters are property of Nintendo et al., and are used without permission. 

xXx 

This was written for the FE Yaoi LJ, in which you choose a randomly selected pairing to write or draw for... (I'm not saying which one, though; you'll just have to figure it out yourself!) Oh, and this is rated shonen-ai, at most... 

BTW, I decided to go the humourous route for this story, so I hope I don't disappoint anyone... I also hope that I kept everyone in-character... 

xXxXx 

Fire Emblem parody: 

"Gentlemen Prefer Blonds" 

by Avi 

As night fell upon the current encampment of Lord Eliwood's army, the monk known as Lucius suddenly hurried out of the healer's tent, while girlish giggling spilled out from behind him... He then heaved a sigh of relief. 

While Lucius struggled to find his own tent in the darkness, the monk ran a hand over his blond hair uneasily, and tried to recall how on earth he had gotten himself into this predicament in the first place... 

xXx 

It had all started earlier in the day around sunset, as Lucius was strolling innocently across the camp... That was when he was then halted in his tracks by the Ostian cleric, Serra. 

"Oh, hello Serra," greeted the monk kindly, as the young woman stopped in front of him. "Is there something I can do for you?" 

"Um, yes... Actually, there is, Lucius," said Serra, twirling the end of one of her long, pink ponytails nervously around a finger. "There's something that I wanted to ask you about... But would you mind if I asked you the question, in private?" 

"Of course not," Lucius replied, somewhat mystified by Serra's behaviour. The normally loud and assertive cleric was coming across as shy and flustered, all of a sudden... 

"Oh, thank you so much!" exclaimed Serra gratefully. 

The cleric then grabbed the startled monk's hand and pulled him inside the healer's tent, which was conveniently nearby. 

"So Serra, what's this all about?" asked the monk in a polite tone. The cleric had finally released his hand, having led her confidante within the safety of the tent. 

Serra avoided his gaze. "Well, like I said, Lucius... I wanted to to ask you question privately, so here it is..." The cleric then began to stammer. 

"Would you mind... Would you mind..." Serra then took a deep breath, and managed to blurt out her request. "Would you mind if I comb your hair, Lucius?" 

"Comb my hair...?" repeated Lucius, rather bewildered. 

"Um, yes... You just have such lovely hair..." remarked Serra reverently. She reached out to touch a tendril of the monk's golden locks, but pulled her hand back with a blush when she realized what she was doing. 

"I'm so envious... I wish I had hair as fine and shiny as yours," she sighed in an admiring tone. 

Meanwhile, Lucius continued to stare at Serra in surprise. Although he certainly found her request to be somewhat odd, he couldn't see any harm in it... Besides, there was a pleading look in the cleric's eyes that the monk just didn't have the heart to refuse. 

"Well, I suppose it would be all right..." replied Lucius hesitantly... At this, Serra's mood brightened. 

"Oh, good! Now, you just sit over here," she commanded, indicating one of the pallets upon which injured soldiers usually lay, "and I'll comb out your hair." The cleric promptly produced a comb from a pouch on her belt, as Lucius seated himself comfortably, if a tad nervously, upon a nearby cot. 

Serra was just about to start combing out the monk's hair, when the two were suddenly interrupted. 

"Um, hello...?" called a girl's voice, from outside the tent. 

As both cleric and monk looked up guiltily at this, the flap to the healer's tent then flipped open, and the archer known as Rebecca poked her head inside. 

"Sorry to bother you..." she began shyly, "But I was wondering if you had any spare vulneraries in here; I've nearly run out..." 

Rebecca then trailed off, as she took in the odd sight of Serra with a lock of Lucius's hair in one hand, and a wooden comb in the other. 

"...What are you two doing?" asked the archer, in a curious tone. 

"Oh, I'm just giving Lucius a new hairstyle," replied Serra airily. 

"What?" gasped Lucius, mortified. Serra had never said anything about that! 

The monk suddenly envisioned himself wearing the long, twin ponytails that the cleric sported, and fought back a visible shudder. 

Meanwhile, the archer's eyes had lit up. "Oh, really? Hang on a second... I have the perfect ribbon that would go with his hair!" Then Rebecca dashed out of the tent, her request forgotten. 

As soon as she was gone, Lucius found himself questioning Serra tentatively, "Um... You don't mean to give me your hairstyle, do you, Serra?" 

"Oh no, silly!" laughed the cleric. "I was thinking of gathering some of your hair up here," she said, demonstrating the described hairstyle on him, "and tying it off..." 

Rebecca returned just then, with Nino in tow, who also had some ideas on how to style Lucius's hair... The monk then found himself trying to resist the urge to fidget in his seat, as various hands played with his long, golden hair, and the girls began to argue about what hairstyle they should give him. 

They were interrupted a couple of times during this process... Once by Sain, who was probably lured in by all the girlish giggles; he had entered the healer's tent on the pretense of needing medical attention... And was promptly pelted with various hair ornaments for his pains. 

Priscilla had also walked in on them at one point, as she shared the healer's quarters with Serra; she had then backed out of the tent, visibly smothering laughter from behind her hands. Lucius had hoped for some sympathy from her, as he was a friend of her brother's; but no such luck... 

After the three girls toyed with Lucius's hair for what seemed like an eternity for the poor monk, they finally settled on a simple, loose braid for him, with tendrils of his hair hanging on either side of his face. 

Lucius was too embarassed at this point to tell them that the braid felt too tight, and was giving him a headache; so he sat patiently as all three girls fussed around him and cooed over his new look. Finally however, the monk was able to make his excuses and take his leave, leaving their sighs and protests behind him. 

xXx 

So, it was way past nightfall when Lucius managed to exit the healer's tent... And the monk now found himself having to navigate his way across the now-darkened encampment, to find his own quarters. 

The monk was curious to know if Raven was waiting impatiently for him, as they shared a tent together; also, for some reason, he couldn't help wondering what his roommate would think of his new hairstyle... 

The braid was an unusual weight upon his hair, though... Lucius found himself flipping it over from shoulder to shoulder periodically, and occasionally letting it drape down his back. 

The monk mentally reminded himself to untie his hair as soon as he reached the safety of his own tent; he hadn't wanted to hurt the girls' feelings by undoing all their hard work, while he was still in plain sight of the entire camp. 

However, Lucius now wished that he hadn't been so eager to escape his hairdressers' grasps, and had watched where he was going, instead; it was so dark out now, that all the tents looked the same to him... 

The monk sighed in resignation, as he continued to wander around the camp aimlessly. 

"Well, at least this evening can't possibly get any worse," he murmured to himself. 

xXx 

Meanwhile, in another part of the camp, Lord Pent was out for an evening stroll... The Mage General of Etruria had just finished a conference with the three young leaders of their army, but instead of heading back to his own tent, he had decided to wander around outside a bit instead. 

Pent had hoped that the night air would clear his head, for he felt a bit... Out of sorts, lately. He just couldn't place finger on the source of his discontent, though. 

His mind preoccupied, Lord Pent rounded the corner of a row of tents. The maze an encampment formed at night could be confusing at times, but the Mage General had always had a good memory... He was not far from his own tent, now; perhaps a bit of sleep would ease his restlessness... 

He was just nearing his destination, when he caught a glimpse of a figure dressed in a pale cloak walking a few steps in front of him... The dim torchlight illuminating the camp also gleamed off a golden braid swaying behind them. 

Louise must've needed some fresh air too, the young lord thought, admiring her slim form in the moonlight. It was then that he suddenly realized why he felt so ill at ease, lately. 

To be perfectly blunt, Pent was feeling kind of... Frisky, at the moment. What with the close quarters, and being constantly surrounded with other members of the army, trying to find some time where he could be alone with his wife could be trying, at times... 

And even if they did share a tent, the mage lord felt embarassed about... Sharing intimacies with his wife, within. For the tents in the encampment were usually so closely pitched together, that an argument on one side of the camp could be easily heard at the far end; plus, the kind of gossip that spread throughout their army made Pent embarassed to give Louise even a kiss on the cheek in public... Even though she was his wife. 

Then the blonde figure in front of him tossed their braid over one shoulder, a gesture of his wife's that he always found absolutely endearing. 

At that moment, Pent felt an urge to throw caution to the winds. Maybe he shouldn't have kept his feelings bottled up so long... There were no prying eyes about, now; no wagging tongues to gossip about his actions... 

Besides, didn't he deserve a little intimacy with his own wife? 

xXx 

Meanwhile, just up ahead, Lucius stopped in his tracks and tried yet again to remember where he they had pitched his tent earlier that day... Surely it had to be here somewhere! 

He was then rather distracted from his musings, as pair of strong arms encircled his waist from behind. 

"Hello darling," whispered a husky voice, by his ear. 

At this, Lucius panicked. Was that Lord Raymond's voice? If it was, he was being awfully daring, acting so affectionately out here, in the open! And if it wasn't Raven... The monk immediately tried to put that thought out of his mind. 

Lucius stiffened in terror, as he felt his assailant's arms slide up slowly from around his waist towards his collarbone... 

However, as their hands passed over his chest, they seemed to pause for a moment; then those same hands moved back down to that area, and began to grope his ribcage curiously, as if searching for something that just wasn't there... There was a thoughtful pause. 

"Uh..." The unknown voice was now hesitant, uncertain. "You're not my wife, are you...?" 

"Um, no..." Lucius's eyes then widened in realization. 

"Lord Pent? Is that you?" 

"Er... Yes. Yes. I'm afraid so..." The nobleman sounded incredibly embarassed. "And whom am I addressing, again...?" 

"I'm Lucius, sir..." the monk replied timidly. 

"Lucius...?" The lord seemed to pause in thought. "The monk with the long, blond hair?" 

"Um, yes." 

"Oh... I see." 

There was another pause, then Lucius found himself raising his voice again, tentatively. 

"Lord Pent?" 

"Yes, Lucius?" 

"Would you mind letting go of me, now?" 

"Oh. Yes. Right..." 

The nobleman released his hold on the monk, which allowed Lucius to finally turn and face Pent... Though neither man seemed to be able to meet the other's eyes. 

"I'm dreadfully sorry about that!" Lord Pent finally managed to blurt out. "With that braid, you looked exactly like my wife, and in the darkness, I-" 

"It's... It's quite all right," replied Lucius hastily. "I can understand the confusion; don't worry yourself about it..." 

"But there must be some way I can make up for the horrible mix-up!" babbled the young lord. "Perhaps a favour of some kind..." 

"No!" replied Lucius, perhaps a little too hastily. He was thinking about what Raven might think about him receiving a seemingly pointless favour from a nobleman, and how he might react... 

He'd probably get the wrong idea, and react the same way he would if he had been present for what had happened here just moments ago... And run Lord Pent through with his sword. 

The monk shuddered. His mercenary friend could be so overprotective, at times... 

"Well, if you're sure about that..." answered Pent hesitantly. 

"I'm... I'm sure." 

Yet another silence. Neither man still hadn't met each other's gaze at this point... 

"Well... Good night." 

"Er... Good night, sir." 

Then both men turned and fled for the relative safety of their own tents. 

xXx 

Lord Pent headed slowly for his tent, still somewhat dazed and ashamed about the entire incident... 

Yet despite after all that had happened, it made actually made Pent more eager to get to his tent and into the loving arms of his wife... If only out of fear that his heightened lust might make him start looking at, say, his protege romantically as well. Heaven forbid that should happen... 

Not that he would tell Louise what had just happened, though. It wasn't she was the jealous type or anything; he just knew that she would laughing at him about this for days... She had teased him mercilessly about his abstinence, and rightly so, it seemed... 

Still, Pent felt worse about what he had done to that poor monk; he only prayed that Lucius wasn't too traumatized about it... 

xXx 

Perhaps it was the rush of adrenaline from the strange encounter that hotwired his brain, but Lucius finally managed to find his way back to his own tent... Dashing inside, he paused in front of the entrance with a sigh of relief. 

As the monk caught his breath, he looked up just in time to meet Raven's cool gaze... His roommate was sitting on the edge of his cot, busily sharpening his sword with a whetstone. 

"Oh, there you are," he said, in a blunt tone. "I was wondering where you've been." He continued to sharpen the blade momentarily, then looked up to stare at his friend again. 

"Did you do something with your hair, Lucius?" asked Raven curiously. 

"What, this?" The monk gestured at his hair, as he felt a surge of momentary guilt over what had happened. "It's... It's nothing," he replied hastily. 

Lucius quickly tugged off the ribbon that held his braid together, then shook out his long, blond hair, causing Raven to watch his companion's gesture with odd fascination. 

"That's too bad," commented the mercenary, returning to his task. "I kind of liked your hair like that." 

A faint flush came over Lucius's cheeks. "You... You think so?" The monk then quietly smiled to himself. "Then maybe I'll have to braid my hair again, sometime..." 

As Raven raised an eyebrow at this, Lucius couldn't help adding to himself mentally, 'Providing Lord Pent isn't around, of course...' 

END 

xXxXx 

A rather long setup, I know, but I got to the Pent/Lucius pairing eventually... BTW, this story was partially inspired by a Japanese fanart I found, where a ribbon was tied into Lucius's hair by Serra... So cute! 


End file.
